Cool Brand New Rajnikanth Jokes and SMS

• The Vodafone 3G Zoozoo must have seen a lot of Rajini movies.

• Who is the first Indian to use 4G?……… Har baar Rajnikanth nahi hota….. This time it is Anil Kapoor (aG , oG, lo G, suno G)

• Why does needle of Magnetic Compass always point towards North? Because Rajnikanth lives in the South and no one can point at him.

• English Movies Dubbed in Hindi:
  Hurt Locker – Ghayal Tijori
  Batman- Ballebaj
  She’s the man- Bobby darling
  Blood diamond- Khooni Heera
  Saw- Dekha
  Saw2- Doabara Dekha
  Saw3- Phirse Dekha
  Saw4- Baar Baar Dekha
  Superman,Spiderman,X-men,Hulk etc- Rajnikanth

 

• Good > Better > Best > Rajnikanth

• When Rajnikanth crosses the street, cars have to look both ways.

• One day Rajni’s mobile phone accidentally dropped from his hands while he was standing in his balcony. The mobile fall down but it didn’t reach the ground. Because Rajnikanth ordered it to come back.

• There’s no space bar on Rajni’s computer. Words automatically give him space.

• No more TSUNAMIS will come from now. Rajnikanth has stooped washing his LUNGI inIndian ocean.

• When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message.

• Rajnikant is injurious to cigarette

• Girl (romantically) to Rajnikanth: 1 chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jano?
  Rajnikanth: 0.00078924576 Rs. per gram.

• Boost is the secret of Sachin Tendulkar’s Energy & Rajni is the secret of Boosts energy.

• Rajnikanth’s postal address: Rajnikanth ,Madras.

• A farmer instead of keeping Scarecrow in his farm kept the photo of Rajnikanth, Birds started to bring back grains which they had took last year.

Deadly and Funny Rajnikanth Jokes| Die Laughing

• Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajnikanth was born.
• Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
• Someone asked Rajnikanth for change, Rajnikanth gave them climate change.
• The real reason Obama is visiting India.. To watch ROBOT!
• Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajnikanth, there is no other way.
• If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
• There is no such thing as evolution; it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live
• Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
• When Rajnikanth was a baby, he fell from the tree and the tree broke.
• Rajnikanth can deliver software projects in time and budget – everytime.
• Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
• Newton invented gravity, Rajnikanth abolished it.
• Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
• Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
• Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
• Rajnikanth gave the Joker those scars.
• Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
• Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
• Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
• The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
• Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajnikanth is on.
• Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.

Best Rajnikanth One Liner Jokes

Deadly Rajnikanth One Liners Jokes

Rajnikanth One Liners :

1. Facebook, Twitter, Orkut and Myspace has joined Rajnikanth.
2. When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!
3. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.rajnikant can buy a bourneville…he doesnt have to earn it…
4. In the past, Rajnikant was using tooth powder to make his teeths stronger.Today we know that tooth powder as:….Ambuja Cement
5. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
6. if RAJNI Kant then nobody Can!!!(
7. Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!
8. Neo was “the one” Rajinikant is “the only one”
9. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land.
10. Rajnikant irons his Pants with them still on.
11. India actually didn’t have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealth games… Rajnikanth gave it to them!
12. The movie ‘300′ was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth. It was originally named ‘1
13. I have got so many rajnikanth jokes on my mobile phone……..dat i dont require a charger now:)
14. Once Rajnikant and a small girl were playing cards. Rajni loses the game inspite having 3 ACES. Why?? Because The girl had 3 RAJNIKANTS
15. Rajnikant can easily fly like a elephant
16. Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai…Rajni: ok..Nxt day…Gf: Hey… where the hell is My Shadow????
17. Rajnikanth’s postal address: Rajnikanth , Madras
18. Rajanikanth can eat lunch before breakfast.
19. Rajnikanth can find a lost virginity
20. Once all media men went to rajinikanth to ask if he feels bad of the jokes circulated. Rajini said : “DO YOU THINK THEY ARE JOKES”
21. What is Rajnikanth’e email address ? Rajnikanth@Rajnikanth.Rajnikanth
22. Rajanikanth took 12 wickets in one match.
23. Rajanikanth got nobel prize in acting.

Funny Rajnikanth Wiki Jokes |

• Once Rajnikanth wrote a cheque and bank bounced.
• Rajni can draw a circular rectangle.
• Once Rajini Kant donated his blood to a famished kid. That kid now known as The Great Khali.
• Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
• Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano

• Rajnikanth’s dog house has a signboard on it saying. . . . . . . . . “Beware of Rajnikant!!”
• International standards have decided to replace marks such as “ISI” to “RAJNI”
• After 300 years, the years would be classified as AR and BR. After Rajnikanth and Before Rajnikanth.
• Once rajnikanth went to MCDONALDS & there he ordered a Masala Dosa.He was denied and since from that day MR MCDONALDS….is sitting out of his own restaurant…..!!!
• Once rajnikanth taught a boy how to play GTA vice city today that boy is known as AJMAL QASAB…
• Rajinikanth just released 2011 for us.
• There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Rajnikanth’s computer. Rajinikanth is always in control….!!
• Rajnikanth planted the idea for the movie”Inception” into Christopher Nolan’s mind while he was dreaming.
• Rajnikanth knows who the F*** is Alice!
• Rajni’s wish agle janam mohe bitiya hi kijo.

• Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
• Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicks.

• Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
• When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!
• Rajnikanth bought an iPhone now all iPhones are called Rphones!

• Who can stop 100 cars with one hand?

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Ans- Its Traffic police Not Rajnkant. LOL 🙂

More Rajnikant Jokes

Rajnikanth Driving Licence | Funny Rajnikant Jokes SMS

Not Possible if you want one such licence

99 Coolest Collection of Rajnikanth Jokes SMS

Get set for Hilarious Rajnikant Jokes :

• Pyramids of Egypt are actually Rajni’s primary school geometry assignments. Shut up I say.

• Once Rajnikant casually played a defensive shot in cricket. Now that poor ball is known as Pluto

• Rajnikant can judge a book by its cover.

• If Rajni want to eat ice cream what does he do???

He goes to Himalaya and start licking the mountain over there

• In a fight between Batman and Spider Man, the winner would be Rajnikant.

• Rajnikant got his drivers license at the age of 11. Seconds

• When Rajnikant does division, there are no remainders

• With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajnikant is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

• Rajnikant never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

• Rajnikant can bend light. With his bare hands.

• Rajni had a fight with his wife. he showed his middle finger in anger and the wife became pregnant.

• ADAM AND EVE ARE SONS OF RAJNIKANTH

• Once Rajni gave IIT JEE exam … IIT was rejected.

• Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea

• Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. after deleting files rajni doesnt send them to recycle bin, he sends them to HELL

• After 20 years… “ROBOTS” will make a movie...”RAJNIKANT”…!!!

• Rajni once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it.

• Rajni once met Chiranjeevi on the street. Rajni burst into laughter, Chiranjeevi burst into tears, and every passing car burst into flames.

• Every dog has his day. Rajni has all the seven dogs.

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Funny Wiki Rajnikant | Spoof | Mind It

• FIFA World cup 2014 : Team Groupings:
Group A: Brazil, Spain, Argentina
Group B: Italy, France, USA, Holland
Group C: RAJNIKANTH

• There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Rajnikanth’s computer. Rajnikanth is always in control.

• When Rajnikanth was a student, Teachers used to bunk the classes.

• Rajnikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

• If Tyson gay and usain bolt were racing, who would win……………. The Rajnikant.

• Once an email was sent frm Mumbai to Pune……rajnikanth stopped it in Lonavala!!!!!!!!!

• There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikanth has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

• When Rajnikanth falls in water, Rajnikanth doesn’t get wet. Water gets Rajnikanth.

• Rajnikant has seen the face of the fat lady in Tom and Jerry.

• Once RAJNIKANTH went to switzerland…………….
accidentally droped his wallet in front of a building……………
since that daythe building known as a SWISS BANK

• Rajnikanth doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

• Rajnikanth can be divided by zero.

• When taking the CAT/IIM’s/IAS write “Rajnikanth” for every answer. You will score over 9000.

• If you Google search “Rajnikanth getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.

• It takes Rajnikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikanth kicked one of the corners off.

• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikanth lives in Chennai.

• once Rajni threw a coin to a beggar ……………………………………..
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……..now that beggar is called 50 cent

• Rajnikanth can slam a revolving door.

• Rajnikanth is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Rajnikanth does not swim. This is because when Rajnikanth enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Rajnikanth simply walks across the pool floor.

• Rajnikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.

• Rajnikant is injurious to cigargette.

30 Facts About RAJNI | Kanth …. Rajnikanth

• Rajnikanth was born by spliting atoms.
• Rajnikanth fought the law and the law lost.
• Once the cop pulled over Rajnikanth….the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
• When Rajnikanth crosses the street , cars look both ways.

• Rajnikanth has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.
• Rajnikanth died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.
• Rajnikanth doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

• Once, an entire country disagreed with Rajnikanth. It’s now known as the moon
• Death once had a near-Rajnikanth experience.
• Rajni broke the Da Vinci Code… with his fist.
• Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikanth can swim through land.
• Rajnikanth can kill two stones with one bird
• Rajnikanth counted to infinity – twice.

• Rajnikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle
• Rajnikanth hears sign language
• Rajnikanth can slam a revolving door.
• Rajnikanth made a Happy Meal cry.
• Rajnikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
• Rajnikanth will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
• Rajnikanth and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
• When Rajnikanth does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Rajnikanth can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
• Santa writes to Rajnikanth about what he wants for Christmas.
• Rajnikanth doesn’t vote for presidents, he chooses from a list of applicants who want to be his assistant.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Rajnikanth allows to live.

• Rajnikanth doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
• Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Rajnikanth pajamas.

Best Rajnikanth Jokes 2010

Best Rajnikanth Jokes | Huge Collection

• RECENTLY CHINA AIRPORTS WERE CLOSED DUE TO HEAVY FOG

……. LATER IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT RAJANIKANTH WAS SMOKING ININDIA!!!!!!!!!!

• Rajinikanth first takes the gold medal and then starts the race.

• On his journey toItaly,Rajni rested for 3 seconds against a Building.

It’s now known as Leaning Tower of Pisa and after affects still under observation on daily basis.

• When Graham Bell discovered the telephone, he found two missed calls from Rajnikant.

• Rajnikant once killed a terrorist inPakistan

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“via bluetooth”

• RAJANIKANTH DID HIS KG FROM SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES..TODAY THOSE PLACES ARE KNOWN AS IITs!!!!!!

• Dont miss the most exiting TV show

ever on Discovery Channel”’.

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…….

WILD VS RAJNIKANT

• “DEFINITION OF SOLAR ECLIPSE:”

WHEN RAJANIKANTH STARES AT SUN WITH ANGER, SUN HIDES BEHIND THE MOON. THIS GREATEST PHENOMENA IS CALLED SOLAR ECLIPSE………!!!!!

• RAJANIKANTH WOKE UP ONE DAY AND DECIDED HE SHOULD SHARE ATLEAST ONE PERCENT OF HIS KNOWLEDGE WITH THE

WORLD……THUS………………….. THE GOOGLE WAS BORN!!!!

• Simple Question: THINK WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF RAJANI WOULD HAVE BORN 150 YEARS AGO..?????

Answer: BRITISH WOULD HAVE FOUGHT FOR INDEPENDANCE….

• BEST RAJANI JOKE!!!!!! “EVEN GHAJINI REMEMBERS RAJANI”!!!!

• AN EMAIL WAS SENT FROMMYSORETOBANGALORE……….RAJANIKANTH STOPPED IT AT MANDYA….

• WHY DO EARTHQUAKE OCCURS?????………BECAUSE AT THAT TIME RAJANIKANTH’SMOBILEIS ON VIBRATION MODE!!!!!!!!!

• ONCE RAJANIKANTH BUNKED A WHOLE DAY IN SCHOOL…..!

SINCE THEN THAT DAY IS KNOWN AS

…………….

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SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• THE PYRAMIDS INEGYPTARE ACTUALLY……………………………

……….RAJANIKANTHSPRIMARY SCHOOLCRAFT PROJECTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

• BREAKING NEWS:

ISRO DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE…..!! RAJANIKANTH PURCHASED ALL THE ROCKETS FOR DIWALI CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• WHY DID RAJANI BUY ANACREOF LAND WTH 4 WELLS ON EACH CORNER?????

………………….. TO PLAY CARROM!!!!!!

• BEFORE TOM CRUISE, RAJANI WAS APPROACHED FOR THE MOVIEMISSIONIMPOSSIBLE, BUT RAJANI REFUSED AS HE FOUND THE TITLE  INSULTING..

• Rajnikanth’s next movie Titanic (in Tamil)

Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across theAtlantic Oceanwith heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other.

22 Best RajniKanth Jokes Ever

1) Time and Tide waits for Rajnikanth…! Mind it..!

2) Once Rajnikant participated in a 100m race,obviously he won but Einstein died after seeing that light came Fourth. And, yes Rajni did come firs,second, and third.

3) Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

4) Jack Sparrow adresses HIM as captain Rajini Kanth.

5) Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.

6) Once Superman made a bet with Rajni…….The loser had to wear underwear outside.

7) CNN Reports “Real reason why Paul, the octopus dies because some idiot asked him to predict Rajni’s death”.

8) A child went to Kashmir & started playing by making mountains from ice. Today those mountains are called “Himalyaas” & that child is called “RAJNIKANT”.

9) As a Kid RAJNIKANT maintained a diary of his day to day activities……….Today that diary is called “The GUINESS BOOK OF OWRLD RECORDS”/

10) Rajni has a terrace in his basement. Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

11) The missing piece of the Apple Inc. logo was eaten by…….who else than RAJNI.

12) Intel’s new tagline “Rajni Insiade” !! 🙂

13) Rajinikanth committed suicide, and lived.

14) Rajni was Shot yesterday, today is bullet’s funeral.

15) Once Rajnikant showed middle finger to his wife, guess what ……..She got PREGNANT.

16) The new symbol for Rupee is actually Rajnikant’s Signature.

17) Rajni was the cause for the Tsunami. As he dived in the sea from the helicopter,  water came out of the sea in the form of TSUNAMI.!!!

18) Rajnikant Can Finish Super Mario………….Without Using The Jump Button …….

19) There’s nothing like recession, it’s just that Rajnikanth started saving some money..!

20) Do u know Rajni Killed the Dead sea.

21) Only Rajni know’s “How I met your mother” and “who will be the next millionaire” and also “knows Victoria’s secret”.

22) Rajinikanth can make onions cry.

Hang On for Rajnikanth Cricket Jokes